Scars

Every time I start with new students, there’s always at least one who asks about my scar.  I explain that I was very sick and needed help to breathe and the doctors had to help me. But it always reminds me of a scar that I often forget is there.  When you meet someone new, they look at your face first. That scar just happens to be right under my face. We all have scars some that everyone can see and many more that we can cover or that can’t be seen at all.  I’ll start with the simple ones, the ones that I can see.  When I see my tracheotomy scar, it’s a reminder of something I have overcome. The pain is gone, the wound has healed, and the sickness that necessitated the trach is over.  But the scar remains. I survived.   The things I have overcome as a result of that illness are far greater than just surviving, but that in itself is no less than a miracle.

My other most visible scar is from the c-sections that brought my daughters into this world. Thankfully, no one has to see this one but me.  And it doesn’t bother me a bit. Of course it’s a reminder of the birth of my girls, but it’s also a reminder that with God’s help, I overcame infertility. I continue to pray for those going through this trial.

There are many more scars that I could show you, my appendectomy scar, the one from my gallbladder, and various scraped knees and cut fingers. Then there are those scars that we all hold deep within. I don’t have many wounds anymore. They are wounds as long as you still hold anger, bitterness or unforgiveness. I wrote a prayer at one of my very lowest most painful times. And then I began to heal and overcome. When the time came that I was doing really well. Several people had complimented how well I was doing dealing with this situation.  At first I was flattered and thanked them, and then I heard God reminding me that I wasn’t doing it alone. After that, if anyone commented on it, I would tell them that I couldn’t do it alone. It was only through the grace and mercy that God was showing through me that it was possible. Two years later, the written prayer long forgotten, I came across it again.  I was blown away by the words I didn’t remember writing in my despair. The words I had written echoed as the same words I had spoken giving God the credit for my overcoming. I had written a prayer specifically asking Him to give me the strength to overcome this tragedy in my life with His grace and mercy. I had asked God to allow His grace, mercy, and strength to show through me so that I might overcome and be a pillar to my girls. Thanks be to GOD!  Praise the Lord, my wounds are healed I am left with only scars to remind me of the trials that He has made it possible for me to overcome and to forgive. The saying goes, “to forgive and forget.” I don’t want to forget. I want to remember and rejoice in what He has helped me overcome!